H is for Housework
Trust the Canadians to be so blandly practical. The University of Western Ontario reports that couples who ‘divide housework evenly report the highest levels of happiness and fulfillment.’
Another reports states that ‘sharing household chores’ is the third most important ingredient of a happy marriage, after faithfulness and sexual satisfaction.
Meanwhile some recent UK research estimated that while women average just over 18 hours of housework a week, men get away with half that amount. It is no surprise that 68% of divorces are initiated by the woman.
So guys, your homework for today is the housework. After all, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than putting out the rubbish. Except maybe cooking the meal AND doing the dishes as well.
It is, of course, all about respect. If there is an imbalance between one partner and the other, there will be the beginnings of friction, small resentments that lead to lasting trouble.
If you argue about housework, it’s really these resentments and unfulfilled needs being aired. Relationship counselors recommend a three-step programme for sorting out the domestics.
First, discuss. So often we just blindly assume that what worked for our parents will work for our partner – usually it doesn’t.
Second, define. One person’s clean is another person’s filth. Set a standard you can both live with.
Third, delegate. Make sure you each know what is expected of you, and by when.
Then once you have created the perfect, organised clean home … you can both happily go to bed and get a little filthy.
How not to be a rubbish partner:
Pre-empt:
Don’t wait to be asked. If in doubt, do the dishes.
Share the burden
Help your partner with something, even if it’s not your turn. It’s amazing the difference it makes.
Act
Your partner will never believe you when you say ‘ I was just about to do that’. Do it now.
